Wives of the Incarcerated Describe Added Struggle COVID has on their Marriages

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This story is part two in a three-part series, detailing the allegations and complaints families of the incarcerated have against the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.

By Anissa Durham

Two wives have spent the last year waiting, hoping and praying they would be reunited with their husbands who are incarcerated in California. 

Last spring, the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation announced they would suspend all in-person visits throughout its 35 prisons, due to COVID-19. This decision has impacted families throughout the state and country, leaving them to rely on unscheduled phone calls, brief video conference visits and “snail mail.”

The Department of Corrections announced on March 23 that they will begin a phased reopening of in-person visitation beginning April 10. But, it’s left to the discretion of each warden and chief executive officer of each institution to determine if the facility is safe enough to conduct in-person visiting.

Despite this, the toll that one-year of no in-person visits has taken on families, cannot be forgotten.

Rachel Galindo

“[CDCR] says they are supposed to keep us connected... but I feel that’s not what they are doing,” Galindo said. 

Terri Hardy, a spokeswoman for the Department of Corrections said via email, since the cancelation of visits, “CDCR has implemented real-time video visiting and enabled a scheduling system. Additionally, most incarcerated people have access to email through JPay, while mail and packages are being delivered and free phone calls are offered at various times.”

Galindo, a Chula Vista resident, said she shares two children with her husband who is incarcerated at Kern Valley State Prison. She said they have been married for two years and he has been incarcerated since 2011, serving a life sentence. 

Galindo’s access to her husband is even more restricted. She said he is currently in administrative segregation, also known as solitary confinement. In ad seg, incarcerated ones are typically not allowed phone calls or video visits. But due to COVID-19, the Department of Corrections has permitted one 15-minute phone call on the weekends and one video conference visit once every 30 days.

Galindo said this kind of relationship is not for everyone and it is very hard both emotionally and financially. She said she stays strong for their 13-year-old daughter who has not seen her father since January 18, 2020. Galindo last saw her husband on February 23, 2020 and finally got her first video conference visit with him on January 23, 2021. 

“It does take a toll,” she said. “A lot of times it’s heartbreaking.”

She said she tries to communicate with him as often as the Department of Corrections allows. Her first video-conference visit was plagued with a spotty internet connection, she said this made the visit disappointing. Like many other families, she said most of the time prison staff fail to confirm video conference visits. 

A prison spokeswoman did not respond to a question about the claim.

“It’s a big roller coaster, a lot of ups and downs,” she said. 

Galindo said she feels that people are quick to judge her as soon as they find out she is in a relationship with someone who is doing time. Unless you have walked in her shoes, she says others should not be so judgmental. 

“If you stay strong and keep pushing and pushing, you’ll make it through it.”

Maria Ferrer

“You never know until it happens to your family,” Ferrer said. 

Ferrer has not seen her husband in-person since January 17, 2020. She says she is trying to stay positive despite the toll it has taken on their marriage.

“I’m just really missing him,” she said. “When I think about it… [I wonder] is this going to be another year?”

Her husband was sentenced to life in prison as a juvenile offender at the age of 15, he is currently incarcerated at Ironwood State Prison. After serving more than 20 years, Ferrer and her husband have built a life together in the last few years.

Two years into their marriage, her husband was allowed to have conjugal visits. CA is one of four remaining states to allow these visits, usually permitted for non-violent offenders and those who have displayed good behavior for an extended amount of time. With all forms of visitations revoked, Ferrer said it was the one thing many families had to look forward to. 

Since their last in-person visit, adjusting to one allotted 15-minute phone call a day has been difficult. She said they just had their first video-conference visit after months of not receiving a confirmation of her appointment from prison staff.

“It’s almost like a long-distance relationship but weird,” she said. 

Before the lockdown, she regularly saw him on weekends and felt closer to him during their visits. Ferrer has over 77,000 Instagram followers, she said many families often reach out to express how heartbroken they are.

“This can really break a relationship,” she said. “It’s been difficult for sure.”

With more than half his life served in prison, Ferrer is hopeful he will be released one day. Former CA Gov. Jerry Brown signed Senate Bill 260 in 2013, which allows a judge to recall a sentence if the offender was a minor at the time of a crime. The law went into effect on January 1, 2014 and was designed to reduce the number of incarcerated youth in CA and give people a second chance. After being sentenced as an adult, her husband can petition for a resentence. 

“I’m a believer in second chances, especially for someone that was so young at the time,” she said. “I believe in rehabilitation.” 

Meanwhile, she created a podcast called Prison Wife Handbook with the goal of helping other families with incarcerated loved ones. She releases a new episode every week and is happy to help others, wanting to uplift them the best way she knows how. 

“He’s worth waiting for.”